I did it all wrong. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I introduced RIE the wrong way, which left my husband feeling critiqued and made him feel like he was parenting all wrong this whole time. I don’t want any other mama to do this, so that is why I felt compelled to write this post. I want to let you know the things I would have done differently when introducing RIE to my husband. Here are four steps to take when getting your spouse on board with RIE Parenting.
- Come from a place of excitement. If you are like me you are SOOO excited to learn about RIE. A parenting style that just makes sense. You want to consume every article, video, book you could find on RIE. You are so excited to share this new parenting style and you think it will be perfect for your family. Use this excitement that you have for this amazing parenting resource and share what you have learned openly with your spouse. It may sound something like this “I want to share what I learned about this amazing parenting style, I can’t wait to try it with Emma.” When you come from a place of excitement your spouse will most likely want to know more and really hear what you want to say.
- Take your time. Introduce each of the 5 key principles, as I outlined in this POST ONE at a time. These principles are so important. Introduce only one per day as to really fully explain what they mean and how to practice them. Don’t feel like you have to rush teaching your spouse everything you have learned in a few short days. The 5 principles, although simple in theory, do take a bit of practice to get the hang of.
- Watch these RIE videos together. The two videos below are short and you can both see the 5 principles (Respect, Authentic Communication, Self Directed Play, Observe and React, Sports Casting) in action. If your spouse is a visual learner like I am, these can be really powerful.
- Ask for feedback. Once you both feel comfortable using the RIE principles with your child ask your spouse for feedback on how you handled certain situations. This will show your spouse you want him to really participate and play an active role in using RIE techniques with you and your family.
I hope these steps of introducing RIE Parenting to your spouse were helpful. I would love to hear your experience on how you have introduced RIE to your spouse, please let me know in the comments below!